J'ai été en Attente Pour Vous
by He Who Descends
Summary: Carlisle has spent his entire life suffering in an asylum. Jasper gets his first job at said asylum and despite their age difference, they quickly become attracted to each other. Jasper rescues Carlisle and they run away together. Their lives are peaceful for a while, living with other vampires, but this doesn't last long when two doctors who never forgot Carlisle come for revenge!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm not dead… Just lazy. But Summer break is coming and I will be uploading like c-ra-zey! Anyhow, this is a new work about a place in Pennsylvania. You can look at the history at www dot preservepennhurst dot org. Alternatively, you could look up Pennhurst State School and Hospital on Wikipedia or watch the Ghost Adventures episode covering it.**

**ATTENTION: To anyone who may have connections to a person at Pennhurst, my heart and prayers are with you and your family member/friend. I sincerely hope that they rest in peace. I did not write this with the intention of insulting or upsetting anyone. I believe that it is important to realise that Pennhurst was far from a perfect place. I will acknowledge I was not there and that I most likely have a very biased view. Also please note that this story is 99% FICTION and the one percent non-fiction is only so it is as historically correct as possible.**

**(Cover Picture © )**

**Please enjoy!**

**xoxo He Who Descends**

1939, Pennsylvania, USA

CPOV

"We have to send him away. The neighbours are coming up with all sorts of stories," my father worried. He always put so much effort into what people thought, though this time I honestly didn't know what he meant. As always, his hair was slicked back, not a single strand out of place; until he dislodged one strand in his frantic arm waving.

"He'll grow out of it, just give him time! It's not his fault," Mother pleaded my case, her eyes fearful. Her blonde hair was falling out of her bun, a testimony to her distress. "I hear such awful stories about that place – he'll die! You can't–!"

Glaring in a well-practised way, eyes slanting and lips drawing back into a furious snarl, father cut her off. "I can and I will, woman! I've already sent a letter and they'll be here to pick him up by Thursday noon."

"But you can't–" Before another word could fall from her trembling lips, a harsh _SLAP_ echoed throughout the uncomfortable, too-perfect living room. Father stormed out, not even bothering with a final argument nor noticing me as I ducked under the side-table as he passed, a dangerous shadow in the cavernous halls of our home.

Mother fell to her knees, hiding her face in delicate hands as her shoulders quivered with sobs. I scampered over to her and threw my arms around her from behind; the most comforting thing someone as tiny and quiet as I could manage. She sat up straight and turned around, spying me from teary eyes she whispered my name;

"Carlisle," she grabbed me and squeezed me as tight as she dared, afraid my frail body would break if she pressed too hard. She cried onto my shoulder and promised me everything would be ok.

"I promise I'll come to visit you every week and I'll bring my cookies," she kissed my cheek and squeezed me once again. "This is going to make you all better. And you'll come home in a few months and go to school and make friends!" I could tell that I wasn't the only one she was reassuring from the way her words faltered and the fact that she wouldn't look me in the eye.

I just leaned into her embrace more, feeling useless and as though my father was angry at her because of me. Because I'm different to other little boys.

Different because I can't talk.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Next chappy! Enjoy!**

5 Years Later

JPOV

I finally did it! I'm so proud of me!

It only took me, what, four years, eight months and a piece of paper with my name on it to get? But I've succeeded. I've gotten a job at one of the best therapeutical schools in the world. And today is my first day.

The gate loomed more ominously than I expected it to as I made my way to the administration building. There wasn't anybody outside… too early perhaps? I guess there shouldn't be a lot of people here; making breakfast and feeding them all must take hours. Nothing to be concerned about.

Solid brick buildings grew like weeds from the parched ground. Rusted playgrounds creaked under particularly harsh gusts of wind, dusty and neglected. 'Perhaps… perhaps they've put in a new one, bigger and better than the others. That surely must be the case. I mean, they would have to have a playground, there are so many children here', I thought, concerned.

I approached the huge, cherry-wood doors of administration. They slowly swung open under the pressure I put on them and I slipped inside. The room inside was amazing.

Delicate wooden carvings decorated a staircase to my far right and the arches that led into each room were so very intricate. All I could think was that a master artist must have spent month after month adding more detail until this look was achieved.

I approached the mahogany desk, gleaming in that freshly-polished way. There was a slight, older woman perched on a velvet chair behind the desk, chit-chatting away into the curved, onyx handset of a pricey-looking, silver trimmed telephone. She sounded like she was speaking perhaps to a nurse or doctor as she clarified a couple words known affectionately to those in 'the biz' as medical jargon. She tittered a little before she caught sight of me and hastily ended the telephone call and placed the handset back in its cradle.

"Hello there," she chirped, blushing madly. "I'm sorry that you had to wait, if I'd know you were there-"

"No, no. I only just came in," I assured her.

"How can I help you? Are you visiting?" she asked, pulling out a heavy, leather bound book and opening to a directory with simple letters. "Last name?"

"Oh, no. I have no children here. I'm a nurse," I announced excitedly.

She looked up and was silent for a moment before…

She burst out laughing. "But you're a man! Shouldn't you be a… a doctor or something?"

"I didn't want to be a doctor, I wanted to be a nurse."

"Well, Pennhurst will be the laughing stock of the medical world if we employed a _male_ nurse. I suppose I'll just put you down as an orderly," she said, putting away the first book and taking out another very similar book. She opened it. "Last name?"

"Whitlock," I told her.

She flipped through the pages to the 'W' section. "First name?"

"Jasper," I said as she wrote in fancy script.

_Whitlock, Jasper. Employed 7th of October 1943, Orderly._

That made me upset; though I had been warned that many institutions would not list me as a nurse if I were male. Many, I was told, would not even employ me. 'At least I get the job,' I thought.

"Any particular preference as to which ward?" she murmured, stamping the date over her notes.

"Um, I've always wanted to work with young children, got any particular ward for that?"

"Mayflower Hall," she answered, adding that to her scrawls. "Out of admin, the building on the left. You'll be staying in Number eight Independence Drive with a couple other nurses. Hope you don't feel too out of place among the ladies," she laughed again. "Independence is right over the other side of the campus, you won't miss it."

"Thanks," I said bleakly. "I'll head there first and get my belongings sorted."

"Then clock on at the Nurse's Station on the ground floor of Mayflower and start your rounds, _Nurse_ Whitlock," she burst into teary laughter again.

Her guffaws followed me as I trekked up one of the paths that lead in the general direction of Independence Drive. I wondered what staff housing was like here? Well, only one way to find out, I decided, hurrying along the outermost pathway so as to keep the other buildings on campus a surprise for when I had my uniform on.

I quickly found Independence; she really was right, it was hard to miss. Like a tiny, gated estate with quaint little cottage style houses. I was quick to find eight up the winding road. I gave myself a nervous pep-talk and planned out any awkward conversation that may arise before entering the small house. I was surprised to find it empty. I would have thought there would be nurses on their off day or shift, but the tiny house was completely empty though there were remnants of human life such as a half full bin in the small kitchen, a ratty hairbrush filled with long, brown hairs discarded on one of the couches and the electric roof lamp in the bathroom had been left on.

I checked each bedroom which all simply came off the main kitchen/dining/living space. Three of six were obviously occupied with clothes strewn all about, one was tidy but to my knowledge occupied so I took the fifth one. I heaved my suitcase open and changed quickly into my white scrubs. I did a little victory dance around the bedroom before checking my appearance in the mirror on the back of the door and then heading out.

I practically danced all the way to Mayflower Hall and all the way in to the Nurse's Station.

A blonde nurse looked up at me from behind the desk and giggled. "You look like it's your first day."

"That's because it is," I explained, "I'm Jasper Whitlock, the new… um, orderly."

"Oh wonderful. We've been waiting and waiting for Dr Madden to finally hire some fresh people. You know, we're so understaffed these days. Not to mention underfunded," the woman murmured, scribbling my name down on a sticker that said 'Hello My Name Is…" above where she wrote it. She stood up and leaned over the desk and slapped the sticker on my chest.

"There," she said, triumphantly. "If we can squeeze the pennies out of Dr Madden, you might get a proper name badge."

"Thanks," I smiled. "So, where do I start?"

"My advice is, do some rounds, talk to some of the nurses and see what they want," she said, getting back on with her paper work.

"Ok, thanks!" I half-squealed, dying to get through those swinging doors and into the ward. I couldn't wait to be adjusting pillows and telling bedtime stories to all the little children and playing games with them and giving them medicine to make them feel better!

I approached the swinging doors, my heart racing.

I gave one almighty push, ready to see the brightly coloured, painted walls and children cheering each other up and playing together and smiling. The doors opened and…


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Heyy guys! New chapter, thanks to the people who reviewed because you make me want to update more! Sitting here watching a hot shirtless guy out my bedroom mirror… I really need something better to do…**

**xoxo**

**He Who Descends**

My jaw hit the floor.

This was _nothing_ and I mean _NOTHING_ like the Pennhurst I was told about.

There were red faced nurses rushing around, dripping with puke and blood, shouting at each other and at the children over the sound of their wailing; most of the little ones were tied to the railings in the hallway, naked and shrieking, wrists swollen around the tatty ropes that bound them. Lumps of brown slush covered the floor around their knees, liquid was smeared across the walls and stinking up the hallway something so awful that I was nauseas quicker than any amusement ride I'd ever been on.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, fighting the tears that wanted to fall from my eyes.

What had happened? This was supposed to be one of the leading correctional facilities in the country, possibly the Pacific. Not a Goddamn prison. Or… or a stable or something!

"You there, in the doorway! Stop standing around looking like you've seen a bloody ghost and give me a hand over here!" My eyes flickered to the plump nurse standing in the third doorway down. Even though she must have been standing about twenty five yards away from me, her shout sounded as though she were right in front of me.

I hurried over and followed her into the second ward, stepping quickly and carefully around puddles of muck and children that swiped at my ankles, shrieking and bawling wildly.

"Right, you grab 'er legs and I'll grab 'er arms," the woman ordered, regarding a nine or ten year old girl who was tantruming by the filthy window.

"What? Why? What are we going to do with her?" I asked, a little afraid of what the woman may answer.

"We're gunna' strap 'er to that there wheelchair," the nurse explained, nodding her head in the direction of a dilapidated looking wheel chair.

I panicked on the inside. That chair didn't even look like it would hold her weight. She could get seriously injured! Hadn't anyone thought of the risks?

"Do you think that's really the best idea?" I cried, my morals becoming seriously conflicted.

"It's all we can do. What if she 'urt 'erself or someone else?" the fat woman bellowed over the din.

"Why don't you ask her why she's upset? Maybe she just wants something to eat or she's in pain?" I suggested.

"Because ain't nobody stupid enough to get in arms lenth a' her," the woman spat, ready to carry out her plan.

"I will," I nodded, deciding the poor flailing little girl deserved at least one person to listen to her.

"A'ight, it's yer' funeral," the nurse stepped back and let me get closer to the little girl.

"It's ok, sweetheart, calm down," I begged the screaming child. I edged ever closer to her, steeling myself to be smacked at least once. I was almost upon her when she cried out something along the lines of 'Get away from me' in her slurred speech. I disregarded it and kept about with my job.

"It's alright, I won't hurt you," I comforted as I tentatively took her by the shoulder and tried to sit her upright. She gave one almighty wail and then bit my wrist.

I inhaled sharply and yanked my hand back. "Shit!"

I studied the wrist in question and was actually surprised to find it was bleeding a little.

"See, tyin' 'er up's all we can do," the nurse rasped out. "Now 'elp me get 'er."

I stood, admitting defeat and helped the chubby woman wrestle the small girl into the wheelchair, which gave a whine of discomfort but didn't give way beneath the child.

"There," the woman breathed, wiping the sweat off her forehead. "Ya 'an go back to yer rounds now."

I nodded and left the room, close to vomiting as I stepped back into the excrement steeped hallway. I paused for a moment, wondering what I should do. But my attention was quickly taken when I heard one of the children further up the hall begin vomiting violently.

I hurried up toward the girl tied to the railing as she heaved whatever slop she'd been fed all over the tiled floor. I had to walk reasonably slowly to avoid slipping over due to all the fluids and whatever else was on the floor so by the time I reached her, she was finished vomiting.

"Are you alright?" I asked as I knelt beside her.

She just made a garbled noise and looked me up and down. I took my handkerchief out of my pocket and wiped the sick from her chin. Then I looked her up and down and had to wonder what the point of my actions had been. She was sat in a pile of her own poop and urine and now vomit also, so it was going to go all over her anyway.

I quickly reprimanded myself. Every tiny bit helped.

When I was done cleaning the girl's face, I stood up and again had to pause. Where to next?

"Somebody give me some assistance up heerre!" a female voice screamed. I assumed it came from the second floor so I hurried to the stairs at the far end of the building and traversed them with enough speed to send me sliding down the second floor hallway and, thankfully, into a nurse.

"Whoa there," she caught me and helped me regain my balance. "That was an almost-accident if I ever did see one."

"I'm so sorry, I was just hurrying too much and I-" I began but another voice cut me off.

"Hurry up and heeelllp mmeeeee!"

The nurse and I hurried into the very last ward and saw another nurse being crushed under a collapsed crib.

"Oh shit, not another one!" the red haired nurse I'd crashed into grumbled.

"Oh shit says you!" the trapped nurse yelled. "Get this thing offa' me!"

"Um," I walked over, trying to negotiate exactly how to get the collapsed wreck of metal off the poor nurse. I lifted what looked like the thing that held the mattress up. When the woman didn't react I gave it all I had and half lifted half dragged the rusted mess off her.

"Oh thank the Lord," she gasped. "I thought I was going to have to sit here for hours."

I helped her up and brushed as much faecal matter from her white dress as possible.

"Are you alright?" I asked, watching her straighten out her clothing.

"Fine, thanks to you, big man," she giggled. "Never seen you around before. Are you new?"

"Yes, today is my first day," I explained as the other nurse lifted the child who'd been dumped in the crib accident.

"Welcome to hell," the redhead said.

"Stop scaring them away Rosa, we need all the help we can get," the blonde I'd helped up said.

"I can see that," I murmured. "Just what is going on here? Why are there kids tied up every which way and where?"

"Because," the blonde said, "We just don't have the beds."

"Or the staff," the redhead murmured. "Not to mention food, medicine, money. We don't have enough of anything, really."

"That's terrible, couldn't Dr Madden ask the government for funds?" I asked, helping the redhead find a new crib for the crying, waste covered baby in her arms.

"Oh, I see you've never met the Mad Doctor himself," the blonde said.

"Dr Madden? Ask for funds?" redhead cackled. "Think again, honey cake."

"So, the guy who runs the place is a dick, basically," I clarified.

"Cupcake, he the king dick," blondie explained, loading a syringe at the counter by the back of the room. She walked over and jabbed the baby in the arm.

I rushed to the counter and picked up the glass bottle she had loaded the syringe from.

"This is thioridazine," I gasped in disbelief, "That's a tranquilizer. You're giving a tranquilizer to a baby."

"Doctor's order, sugar," the blonde shrugged as she disposed of the syringe. "My name's Rosalie, by the way."

"And I'm Rosa," the redhead spoke up. "What should we call you?"

I pointed to the name tag, "Jasper," I answered.

"Like I said before, welcome to hell," Rosa said, jabbing another thioridazine needle into what must have only been a six year old boy in a crib.

"Would you do me a favour, Jasper?" Rosalie asked, fluttering her eyelashes as she fished around in the cupboard above the counter.

"Oh God, what?" I asked, dreading what she would ask me to do.

"Take this," she handed me a small, silver package. It was strange to look at, at first, with one tapered end and one blunt end but I quickly recognised it as a rectal suppository. Yay. "And administer it to the teeniest blonde male who doesn't look like a male tied up in the hall for me please."

"Why?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't make me do it.

"Because I'm busy," she said.

"But I've never administered a rectal suppository, especially not to a child, what if I hurt him?" I chewed my thumb nail, extremely nervous about the prospect of having to do this.

"You'll be fine," she rolled her eyes. "I mean, all you have to do is shove it up there right? If you mess that up, you must be just as bad as the mush-brains children here."

"I really, really don't want to do this," I reiterated, feeling weird about touching a kid there. I mean, I know I'm a nurse but still…

"Come on, I'll help you," Rosa intoned, grabbing me by the elbow and dragging me out of the room. She pulled me into the hallway and walked past every kid tied up. "Not this one, not that one, it's not him either. Which one again Rosalie?"

"The itty-bitty one!" she answered. "He's really quiet and he likes to look out the window lots!"

"You should make sure it's the right one, you don't want to give the wrong kid medication," I murmured.

"I think it's that one."

She pointed to the tiny, feeble creature tied to the railing at the very end of the hall by the window.

"Are you sure?" I stalled.

"Well, it won't hurt him if it's not, right?" she muttered, yanking me down the hall toward him.

It felt like years before we were standing in front of him. Rosa knelt down and took his right wrist, studying the plastic ID bracelet that hung off it. I looked over her shoulder and was horrified to see it was completely text free but I could see where there had once been writing which had faded.

"Well," she said, "No name."

"That's terrible, shouldn't someone have noticed this before now and written up a new one?"

"Sweet cakes, we don't even issue these any more. We stopped like, a year ago," she murmured, setting about removing the now useless piece of plastic.

"What?! You don't even issue them? Then how the hell do you know who is who?" I cried, utterly disgusted and horrified.

"Well, we just don't. Most of us pick some special patient and commit their medications and dosages to memory, and the rest just rot in their cribs," Rosa admitted, seeming a little ashamed. "But, I mean, it's not our faults. We're the ones on the wards every minute of day and night looking after these kids as best we can so we're really doing all that's possible for us."

"That's still absolutely abhorrent," I spat, wishing I could do something to help the situation here. But she was right, all I could do was what the nurses did. Devote every minute of every day to these kids and hope I gave one of them a nice last five minutes or something.

"Ok," Rosa said, "Let's get this over with." Rosa untied the tiny boy's wrists from the railing and inspected him.

I watched her, too horrified and upset to move for a little. The boy was blonde, like me, but his blonde was lighter and whiter. He had the most alarming pallor that made him look like he could have been dead. And his eyes were the most fascinating slate grey. And there he was, naked and dangerously underweight, tied to a rail.

Rosa looked disapprovingly down at the ground where he'd been sitting. It was piled with half dried half liquid half solid diarrhoea and it was caked all over his butt. And the stench was almost enough to make me heave.

"Oh God, this is disgusting," I shouted, losing my temper. "How can you expect him to get better when he's tied to a rail sitting in a pile of his own shit!?"

"Jasper! Calm down, I think you just made him shit on me," Rosa growled. "Let's just shove it in his ass and get it done!"

"You can't administer _anything_ to him rectally when he's shitting this much, he'll just shit it out!" I raged.

"Then go to Rosalie and get the intravenous version," Rosa growled, "And get me a tissue while you're at it."

"I think you'll need more than a tissue," I hissed, standing and storming back to the ward Rosalie had been in. But when I arrived, she wasn't there.

I cussed to myself and stomped over to the cupboard at the back of the room. I looked at the suppository in my hand and read the drug name.

_Compazine Suppository_

_To be administered rectally or vaginally_

Compazine? Why in the hell did a kid who probably couldn't even walk need a Compazine shot? The only thing Compazine was going to do was kill him early and give him seizures. Which would make the impatient and overwhelmed staff here give him either more Compazine or some other tranquilizer to do the job, not realizing it was the Compazine that had caused the seizure in the first place.

I replaced the suppository back into the box in the cupboard and instead took a bottle of Loxitane. If they wanted to calm him down, Compazine was not the right drug for the job. It was only going to hurt him and cause a potential overdose if others who didn't know he'd already had a dose got involved. Loxitane on the other hand was designed to control moods and anxiety and it would have the sedative effect they were looking for without the seizures and other serious side effects.

I loaded a clean syringe with ten mils of the drug and placed the cap back over the needle so I didn't trip and stab myself or someone else on the way there.

I made my way back down the hallway and had to stop for a minute while a seriously disfigured child dragged their legless body across the hall. I shook the image out of my head and continued back to where Rosa was waiting.

"Did you decide he needed his meds for Christmas?" she asked, glaring at me.

"Rosalie was giving him the wrong meds," I barked, taking the cap off the needle. I leaned over to grab the boy's arm but he snatched it away.

The glare he gave me said he knew how this game worked and he wasn't going to make it easy.

"It's ok," I promised, reaching for his arm once again but he whacked my hand away.

"Look don't be difficult," Rosa said, seizing his arm roughly and outstretching it towards me. He grunted and squirmed around in her lap.

"I promise it won't hurt that much and I'll be quick," I assured him, pushing the needle into his arm, depositing the fluid drug and then pulling it out. I pressed the entrance wound with the thumb of my clean hand to stop any bleeding. I looked up at his face and saw tears rolling down his cheeks. It broke my heart a little more and I stroked his cheek with the partially free needle hand.

"You were very brave," I encouraged. He whimpered somewhere in the back of his throat and began sobbing.

"Wanna switch?"Rosa asked, looking longingly at the somewhat clean syringe in my hand and back to the filthy child in her arms.

"Ok," I agreed, taking the helpless child from her and surrendering the syringe.

This was the first time I'd held a child from Pennhurst and it made me feel better about being here. It made me feel like it wasn't so hopeless. Maybe, just maybe, a cuddle could make this kid better. Maybe as soon as I wrapped my arms around him, he'd stop crying.

And for what must have been the five hundredth time that day. I was wrong.

As soon as I wrapped my arms around the kid he started making some weird kind of high pitched inhaling noise that I interpreted as squealing and cried more.

"I only want to help you," I murmured, instinctively kissing his neck. I leaned him back to look at his face and was greeted with what I first interpreted as a slap across the face. I was a little shocked, the kid was like, eight, that was pretty violent for an eight year old. But it took a couple more moments to realise the extent of the attack as he wiped his hand across the front of my scrubs, looking pretty pleased with himself.

I looked down at the hand he'd used and my lip began to tremble when I saw that it was covered in none other than that icky diarrhoea. I sat for a moment, feeling it drip off my cheek and onto my leg. I bit my lip while he smiled up at me sweetly.

I tilted my head down to look at him. "Why would you do that?" I cried, feeling quite discouraged.

He looked up at me, looking quite upset with me, opened his mouth and… I winced waiting for it.

Coughed.

We didn't look away from one another's eyes for quite a few moments before he did something I was not expecting.

He leaned back into me, wrapping his arms around my neck and fidgeting until he was comfortable.

I couldn't help but feel as though I'd just passed a test. The little boy's test.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Oh hey! So here's a new chapter of this story which is named in French. I also changed said name because I realised it didn't make sense… I'm great at French! Woo!**

**So, enjoy ladies and gentlemen!**

**xoxo  
He Who Descends**

The next day, I didn't feel so drab about heading to the wards because I knew that, despite likely suffering years and years of abuse, that little boy had formed a bond with me. And maybe, he'd even like to see me again.

I made my way up to the second floor of Mayflower bright and early at about a quarter to six that morning. I had thoroughly enjoyed my shower the night before and not so thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the _ladies_ who shared Number eight Independence Drive with me.

But during the day I could keep them out of my mind.

I met up with Rosa and Rosalie at the dumbwaiter at the opposite end of the building to the stairs.

"Good morning, _nurse_," Rosa giggled, tapping my ass as I passed her.

I shot her a glare as I picked up a tray of food. "Nursing is not _just_ a woman's job."

Rosalie cracked up and almost dropped her tray of food. "As if. Jasper you're so girllllyyy."

"I am not," I grumbled. "Look I don't have time for your games. Why don't you do something useful and feed some children?"

"Party pooper," Rosa murmured.

I pushed past them and into the familiar, stinking hallway. 'No better than yesterday,' I thought sadly to myself. I continued until the end near the window and sure enough, still tied to the hand-rail staring intently into the outside world, was the tiny boy from yesterday.

Padding up behind him, I hesitated before laying a hand gently on a frail shoulder. He jerked and whirled around, eyes wide and startled and matted, fair hair whipping about his ears with his speed. Upon seeing me, he appeared to settle down, grey pools no longer reflecting the fear they had been.

"Good morning, little one," I said softly enough to convey my caring feelings but loudly enough to be heard over the ambient sounds.

He tilted his head, his eyes saying 'I didn't think you'd come back'.

"Well, from now on, I'm always going to come and see you. Everyday," I promised, placing the tray on my knees and reaching up to untie his wrists.

He seemed unsure of my touch but only for a moment as I took away the tattered ropes and shuffled closer to him so I could feed him.

"Do you know how to feed yourself?" I asked, pulling his naked body against my side.

He shook his head but still grabbed at the spoon. Ok, mixed messages there. He picked up the spoon and held it up to me. I nodded.

"Yep, that's the start," I explained, taking his hand in mine and scooping up some of the slop Pennhurst called food. "And then you get some food and you put it in your mouth."

I guided his little hand to his mouth and successfully fed him one spoonful of food. He seemed ecstatic to be eating and it made me smile.

"Do you want to try yourself?" I asked gently, wiping some drool from the corner of his mouth.

He nodded eagerly, pulling his hand out of mine. He slowly copied what I had done, but missed his mouth and dropped it all over himself. I chuckled and he looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

"Oh no, don't cry. It's ok, you'll learn," I murmured, cuddling him. "Come on, like this…"

I took his hand with the spoon in it again and helped him scoop up some slop, then helped him put it in his mouth. He smiled once again as he chewed and swallowed. I had to wonder; did the gruel actually taste good or was he just happy to be eating?

"Good?" I asked.

He nodded enthusiastically, swallowing the last of his mouthful. To my surprise, he reached up and hugged me tightly, humming a little.

"Do you talk, little one?" I asked, rubbing his back and smoothing his hair down.

"Mmm-mmm," he shook his head.

"But you understand me?" I asked, puzzled.

"Mmmm-hmm," he nodded. He lifted his hands and drew shapes in the air with them. "Mmmm mmm mmm."

"You can write?" I tried.

He smiled wide and nodded, sending his dirty matted hair everywhere.

"Can you write your name?" I asked, handing him the pen off my collar and holding out my arm for him to write on.

He pulled an unsure face, but then nodded determinedly.

He began writing on my arm. First a pretty decent 'C', a poorly formed 'A', an almost unintelligible 'R' which he had another go at, a decent 'L', an 'I', a very wonky 'S', another 'L' and the last letter, an odd looking but recognisable 'E'.

"Carlisle?" I asked.

He nodded slowly, probably having only heard his name a few times since he arrived here. He returned my pen to me and I smiled, stroking his hair. I pulled him up onto my lap and fidgeted until I was leaning against the wall of the hallway. I spread his legs so his legs were bent either side of me and I then pulled my legs up behind him, sloping my back so he was part way between a sitting and lying position when he leaned against my chest. He made a happy little noise and his thumb found his mouth. I leaned my cheek against the top of his head.

"Are you still hungry?" I murmured and he nodded in response. "Ok," I picked up the spoon off the tray beside me on the floor and scooped up some gruel and fed it to him.

We sat like that until late into the afternoon; me slowly feeding him the entirety of the food and snuggling him all day.

In fact, we spent many days in situations like that; just enjoying one another's presence. I still helped out on the wards, but I spent as much time as I could helping Carlisle learn to write more and draw pictures and read.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Doing a double up! Just an advanced WARNING: THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL HAVE SEXUAL ASSAULT BECAUSE ARO IS CREEPY! And Carlisle is somehow a very attractive small child… I think I need help… :S**

**xoxo  
He Who Descends**

One morning I came to Mayflower, intent on spending the day as I usually did. I took the stairs two at a time, having gone to the general store late yesterday evening and purchased a new book for Carlisle to practise with. I got to the top of the stairs and jogged at a moderate pace down the corridor, nimbly dodging the swipes to my ankles, once again. I'd become quite good at it by now.

I reached the window and was shocked to find a puddle of muck with no blonde perched atop it. I looked up the hall and down, but there was no sign of Carlisle anywhere.

"But where?" I scratched my head. I was fairly certain he couldn't walk due to lack of muscle building exercise. So that had to mean someone took him away.

There was a hard tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a curvaceous nurse with caramel coloured hair glaring daggers at me.

"This facility does not appreciate nor tolerate favouritism," she hissed. "And as the head nurse of the children's division it is my duty to inform you of that, sir."

"I…I" I was at a loss, what the hell was I supposed to say to her.

"I didn't think you'd have anything to say. Nor should you."

"Where did you take him?" I asked, suddenly a little angry. Would this woman honestly rather me work myself into the ground for fifty children who weren't getting enough time and wouldn't benefit from what they did get to focusing my efforts on one child whom I could totally rehabilitate and then send home and move on to another child?

"I simply put him in the care of somebody more… professional than you," she stated, looking down her nose at me. "Somebody who won't mess with his medication and cause him pain."

"I never caused him pain!" I defended, "Who told you that?"

"I didn't need to be told," she snapped, grabbing my collar. "I firmly suggest you step back into line, young man, because let me tell you, one more stuff up and you are out!"

She shoved me back and stormed off.

"Ooh, you're on the bad side of the head nurse," Rosalie jabbed me in the ribs from behind, making me jump a mile. "You sure do got Essie-poo riled up, what'd ya' do?"

"What the hell Rosalie!? You frightened me half to death," I growled, rubbing my sides.

She giggled.

"Tell me you know where she took Carlisle?" I begged, recovering from the shock and remembering how desperate I was to find Carlisle. "Tell me!"

"Whoa calm down," Rosalie said. "If you're talking about your 'special' friend, she sent him to some doctor over in Quaker."

"What did you just call him?" I said slowly, hoping my interpretation of what she'd said wasn't what she meant.

"Calm down, eighty percent of the male staff here get their rocks off to little kids, you're not that special," she said. "Just don't try anything with me."

"What?! You think I'm turned on by him?" I shrieked.

"Well, I mean; you always want to hug him and you really like it when he sits all naked like on your lap, so I made the obvious assumption," Rosalie explained.

"You pervert!" I cried. Who in the hell would think I was a paedophile?

"Ok, fine, if it offends you that much," she sighed.

"I'm going to find Carlisle and so help me God, if you tell that bitch, I'll make you sorry," I raged at her.

"Tsh, you could be nicer, I was the one who convinced her not to fire you this time," Rosalie spat as I tore down the corridor towards the stairs. I ignored her, too intent on finding Carlisle.


End file.
